Living with ADHD: My Journey to Better Focus
Strategies, Support, and the Creation of "The Focused Bean"
My life with ADHD has always been a struggle with my focus and productivity. Like many ADHD adults, I spent most of my childhood undiagnosed and misunderstood. I remember writing out my goals, study schedules, and to-do lists, and being unable to follow them. The worst part was having to explain to my mom why I didn't get my schoolwork done like I said I would. I wasn't only disappointing my parents, but I was disappointing myself. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't stick to my goals even when I wanted to.
Initial Diagnosis and Challenges
Even when diagnosed, I didn't understand what having ADHD meant. I only knew it explained why things were harder for me than for other people. I still held myself to the same standard and wondered what was wrong with me. All the advice on how to be productive either didn't work or ended up with me spending more time than usual.
In 2020, ADHD TikTok stories made my diagnosis more important to me. I spent a lot of time learning about ADHD and how to be productive. I watched and read everything I could about it.
Therapy and New Approaches
I was in a therapy session with a therapist who was trying to help me live a better life with ADHD. I told him that I knew all these tools and strategies, but I couldn't seem to keep with them. As soon as it no longer seemed new and shiny, they failed to work for me. He said if a tool or technique isn't helping me anymore, it's okay to set it aside, making note it once worked. I could then find something new and exciting because novelty helps motivate people with ADHD. Eventually, I ‘d leave the old tool alone for so long I'd forget about it. Then I could go back and give it another go since forgetting about it makes it feel fresh. Plus, I know it's been effective in the past.
This is why I've started “The Focused Bean,” so I can collect all the things that work with my ADHD. Instead of keeping these things to myself, I figure someone might find my collection helpful.
My Key Support Systems
While this newsletter is going to cover tools, techniques, tips, and everything else that have helped me before, there are a few that I help me on a regular basis.
First of all, my supportive husband and family help me in so many ways I can't even count it all. I don't know where I'd be without them.
Importance of Automation
After my husband and my family, automation is probably the other thing I couldn't live without. l use Alexa to remind me about my medications and my calendar events. I also have a smart timer to turn on my lamp so it shines on my face to wake me up in the morning.
Helpful Strategies
Some other things I've found helpful are keeping a consistent sleep schedule, taking time to plan out my week, and body-doubling. I'll be sure to write about everything in detail in the future, so keep an eye out for that.
Overcoming Obstacles
The biggest lesson I've learned is how to deal with problems and disappointments. I'm one of those with ADHD who struggle with depression and self-doubt. Changing my negative thoughts has made me feel better about myself. It's given me more motivation and the strength to keep going when things don't work out.
My Ongoing Journey
I'm still learning about my ADHD and how to be more productive. This will probably be a lifelong journey for me. What I do know is improving yourself and finding ways to work with your ADHD is possible. Everyone has their own way, just like I do. By sharing what I've learned, I hope to make your journey easier than mine.
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